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KUWTK Recap: Milfs Gone Wild, Kim’s Chill Life, and Some-mores. 


Posted in: Basic Bitch Shit, Pop Culture, Television, The Kardashians Tags: , , , , ,

 

 

First off baby Reign is too cute. He stole the first few moments of the episode, and with them my heart.

Look, I can logically and fatalistically view children as a mistake and a vanity item in a brutal, irresponsible world, and still appreciate their cuteness, cheeks, and captivating personalities.

Reign negotiating with Kourtney for “minutes” of movie time was a treat. He totally sounded like his dad, and I loved it.
 

“KIM YOU LOOK SO HOT.”

One of my favorite things about the Kardashians is how nice they can be to one another. Watching the show is like hanging out with your favorite girlfriends. Good girlfriends are always gassing you up, and it’s even better when you know they really mean it. 

When Kourtney and Kim show up to Khloe’s Good American shoot, Khloe compliments her older sister’s look. And she’s not wrong. That center part and strapless black top was working. 

 

MILFS GONE WILD

The episode was supposed to about Kourtney. It was clearly edited that way; she opens the episode, she closes it, the central storyline is her birthday party and Scott’s struggle to cope with her Milf liberation.

Scott: No one cares if you don’t like Kourtney’s life without you. Just be glad you spunked those three beautiful children into her because they are clearly, literally the only reason you still have a paycheck/reoccurring role on the show.

Sure, the bitches love Lord Disick (this one included), but we wouldn’t keep checking for his ass if the family had actually cut him from the show and I think everybody knows it.
 

A note on the editing:

I really appreciate the attempts at innovation KUWTK producers have been employing lately. The split screens between scenes showing the girls’ snaps and extra footage is a novel way to retain viewer attention, and further intoxicate us on the lives of the rich and beautiful.

Obviously split screens and multiple shots in one frame is not something KUWTK producers invented, but I like that they’re doing what they need to keep the show fresh and engaging.

I’m also here for the shared confessionals where Khloe and Kim get to dish on Kourt’s love life and Kourtney can remain unenthused by Kim’s woes. It’s these little changes that show the producers care about our loyal viewership. Here for it.
 

KIM’S ANXIETY/NEW CHILL LIFE

I’m love-hate with Kim. Sometimes she is vapid and superficial AF. Other times she’s really insightful, honest, and admirable. Also, I think she is mesmerizingly beautiful. Obviously, money and good “work” helps that. But she even glows with no make-up in a way I’m lucky to pull off maybe once every two months.

I am here for Kim Kardashian’s confessions that she is insecure.

And not because of that sick tendency in our culture toward venomous celebrity envy. Because I too am mesmerizingly beautiful, and I also suffer from gripping insecurity from time to time. When Kim says that people think she’s so strong and has it together but she really isn’t and doesn’t, it resonated with me.

Poor, pretty, rich girl right? Yes, and no. Because while she is fortunate AF, and she did make this bed to lie in, no one would chase a celebrity lifestyle to be seen and photographed and glorified for her looks unless they actually were in constant need of validation.

It’s like how I’m always blogging, or tweeting, or over-sharing on Facebook. I need the fucking attention. I need communication. If no one knows or likes what I think or say, do I even really exist? I hate being left alone. (But also, like, leave me alone.)

Life changes people. Sometimes the life you have is a result of your willingness to expose yourself to others. And sometimes you get burned for that, and people roast the person you were to ashes. It can make you want to retreat – even when you are mesmerizingly beautiful, and truly a treasure to so many others (talking about myself here).
 

SOME-MORES

Ever since Jessica Simpson gave us chicken of the sea, reality broads have been playing up the ditzy in varying degrees. Nobody believes that Kris Jenner at sixty-odd whatever she is doesn’t know how to say s’mores. Then again, everyone also knows that parents say things wrong and can’t be bothered to fix it.

Khloe’s face though, when she corrects her mom… Khloe’s responses to everything always give my life.

do you baby girl
 

KANYE WEST IS MY DAD!

Fam. When Kris and Scott took the pack to Nobu and Lovie asks North who her favorite rapper was I died. I don’t know where North copped that accent but she slayed me with that delayed reaction and exclamation. Kanye West is your dad, child. You’ll shout it countless more times throughout your life if, God willing, you turn out anything like him. 

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Post Originally Published: October 9th, 2017

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