Lol, Trump Supporters

The truth is there’s nothing I love about Trump supporters. I don’t love that they’re stupid. I don’t love that they make me look like an angelic genius in comparison – when the truth is my heart is black as licorice and I’m grossly under-read. I don’t love that I know by the only metric which counts – common sense – I have them beat by spades. I don’t love anything about them because it absolutely boggles my brain that anyone could seriously admire that man.

If I absolutely had to choose something though, pick one thing about Donald Trump supporters, that I mildly respect I guess it would be that they’re human. ? But are they? Are they really?

The trouble I have with Trump supporters – aside from THEY ARE ALL RACISTS – is that they don’t actually have a stake in anything his campaign claims to be about. There are no Trump supporters who’re suffering life in America because Donald Trump is not the president come to save them for their excruciating existence in this country. There is no Trump supporter who might lose their chance at the ever-fabled American Dream if Trump doesn’t become president.

Trump supporters have literally nothing to lose or gain.

Trump supporters have jobs, face little to zero discrimination where they live to receive jobs, and have every possible opportunity for socioeconomic advancement should they seek it. And they wont lose any of their chances for “greatness” or “growth” whether or not Donald Trump is elected. Neither will they lose their “freedom” or safety, or their little pockets of way of life.

The only thing Trump supporters have to lose is their unactualized rage and their “white-ous” indignation at brown-skinned immigrants of alternative faith who have the audacity to try and lead dignified lives, and fulfill their best potential. Trump supporters are largely complacent, overweight, under-educated (read:lazy), and entitled. That anyone who isn’t white or male should not resemble them in their Sloth is purely unAmerican and will not do. That is precisely the knob Trump turns inside them.

If, by some radical stretch of the collective political imagination, Trump supporters learned to stop fearing, hating, and wanting to kill non-white non-Americans they simply wouldn’t know what to do with themselves. Trump supporters are addicted to their fear and hatred, and they don’t want to learn another way. Trump didn’t make them this way – it happened over time – he just showed up with the match to light their fuse.

The Trump supporters I’ve talked to keep saying he’ll “fix this country.” The clear implication here is that the United States is broken (not completely wrong, but Trump supporters aren’t nearly intellectual enough to identify the correct context for the sentiment), and that Obama broke it.

Not true: The closest this country came to being broken was in ’09 and it had nothing to do with Obama. The last time the country was actually broken was The Depression, and since Monsanto & company have too much invested in pumping your food full of poison I don’t really see the bread line coming back anytime soon (I’m not going to feed into the paranoia which devising a conspiracy theory for the new bread line would require). No one in the working class today needs to worry about that.

Sure, we’re not mid-90s prospering, but growth takes time and truth be told most Americans are just plain fucking lazy.

Americans have it good, and they know it.

If you can afford to pay anywhere near $700 for a new smart phone, if you have and pay for cable where you live, where you subsist on Fox News, if you drive a car and can complain about gas prices and the damage roadwork in your neighborhood does to your tires then you are fine, your life is good, and you are just inherently dissatisfied because you have never actually had to strive toward anything. Ever.

We’re so comfortable we’re agitated. We are the meddling and promiscuous sister of the new wealthy family in a Jane Austen novel, come to steal the protagonist’s love interest. We have it so good we have no idea what to do with ourselves other than cause trouble.

This isn’t Steinbeck’s America.


There aren’t men in overalls travelling on foot or hitchhiking across the nation for work. Because, you know, those were real hard times. And we’re not there anymore because we’re actually doing pretty good. So how about you not be entirely fucking ungrateful?

And we aren’t in G.I. Joe’s America either. So get rid of the fucking notion of masked gymnasts on sworn oaths of allegiance to some serpent-named super villain are coming here to throw flags over the white house and strip us of our freedoms.

IRL America the opportunities to improve your life and your station exist everywhere, everyday for everyone to take.

And that’s the real problem Trump supporters have: opportunity for everyone. They want things so that opportunities are given – only to them. IRL capitalist America where opportunity exists for whoever to create and expand their own success there’s simply too much competition from confident, dignified, and educated over-achieving brown skin people. And they’re making lazy, fat, whites look bad.

But let’s not make this about race, k. Because if there’s one thing Trump supporters hate – more than brown people – it’s being called racist. Sure, let’s talk about fixing the country…

What does “Make America Great Again” even mean?

As far as slogans go “Make America Great Again” is literally outstanding. But it’s also just hot air. How would Trump make the country great again? By strengthening the economy? …by creating jobs? By evicting Mexicans and Muslims? Standing up to Putin, Iran, or Krazy Korea when a reporter with a pen frightens him?

A president can not “create” jobs from thin air. If an administration were to just up and pull jobs from nowhere and start giving them out where they were most needed that might resemble some kind of New Deal, and maybe look something like socialism, which I believe the lesser educated Republicans/Trump supporters think is a dirty word…

You know who, historically, has destroyed jobs? CORPORATE EXECUTIVES.

And do you know how creative people are made? They are fostered and nurtured in schools with arts and music programs. Because a well rounded curriculum evolves the ever-sensitive and impressionable young mind and encourages dynamic thought for life. Children and Education are the most worth while investments a government can make in their nations future. (I mean Healthcare too, but let’s not push it.)

You know how corporate execs are made, more often than not? They’re born into the wealth their fathers stole and stashed from destroying jobs and eliminating positions of hard working men (and women). So don’t expect money and jobs to rain from the sky just because a tanned man with a trophy wife bullies his way into office.

A great country is one with educated, healthy, and working people who feel free to live as they choose, unafraid of imminent war and real or imagined terror threats.

You don’t strengthen the economy by keeping out people who want to work. You don’t strengthen the economy by picking fights with other nations, and engaging in war games for non-renewable resources. You don’t strengthen the economy by lining the pockets of corporations who ship jobs out of the country and tell citizens what they can and cannot do with their own bodies.

The thing I hate most about Trump supporters is that they won’t just admit they’re racist and they love the guy because he is too. Enough with this “He speaks his mind. He says whatever he thinks.” How many old fat-necked, frog-faced white men does America need to speak their mind? Imus, Limbaugh, and O’Reilly not enough? I mean isn’t that what it really comes down to with Trump supporters and American racists in general? Enough is never enough.

There will never be enough jobs, enough money, enough wealth, prosperity, or respect for racist white Americans to feel safe unless all of it is controlled by a white man.

Trump supporters need an apparent strong, alpha white male to dictate and postulate what is right for this country. They need to believe that a loud, confident, dominant wont-back-down white male is the solution, and has the answers. Because otherwise everything is nothing, and brown skinned Muslim women will take all their money, strength, and superiority…. I mean what else could possibly be the fear?

WHY for isn’t Paul Ryan and that glorious almost woodsman-esque beard of his involved in this election?

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