I Can Go Out Further

Real life is nothing
like I thought it’d be.
Everyday I am so sad.

All the weekdays blur
into one another.
And I’m always so exhausted,
or sad.
I don’t know where my passion went.
Pretending to be happy is tiring.
There is no easy way out of my life.

Not suicidal.
That phase of my depression has long
since passed.
Just v v tired.

I keep looking for something to do,
something to love and throw myself
head long into.

Life is me
floating
in barely three feet of Bali ocean
when I know I can’t swim.

It is nothing.
I can go out further.

But there is
an unknowable line,
after which
an uncontrollable force
begins to pull,
from where
I will be unable to remove myself,
if I should go
too far.

And when I even remotely sense
proximity
to this line
I flip about furiously,
scraping my knees
against the very close and
very safe,
basic, and eternally mocking
ocean floor.

 

 

Copyright © 2017

POEMS

Clearing Out The Third Eye

Spellbound

Until Tomorrow

Win For Losing

Something Extra

The Man Who Looks Like You

Honey Darling

The Due

Get Lost

Kitten Does Not Know Best

This Man

Summer’s Fall

Michael J. Fox

I Can Go Out Further

You’re Welcome

Satisfaction’s In The Reaction

Cloudy Blue Skies

Dyin’ Nice Us

Every Artist Has A Vice

Candy Striper

Entrails & Innards

Breaking Beauty

The Sex Poem

Heavy Hearted & Light Headed

Pink and Dissolving

Possibility Is A Girl’s Name

The Cold Winter

EXQUISITE OF HIS CHOOSING

Johnny, Come Quickly