I enjoy a good public feud.
Betty Cooper is my favorite character on Riverdale. Sure, Cheryl Blossom brings a lot of raw emotion and delusional theatrics to the series. And while I love her for it, she’s too much of a water sign for me to relate to.
Young sleuth and investigative journalist, Betty, though, is right up my cerebral air sign alley. And better even that she’s constantly championing the truth and some form of righteous retribution.
My absolute favorite thing about Betty is that she lets everyone in on the tea. She isn’t afraid to call anyone on their bullshit and she makes no secret who her beefs are with.
To top it all off she will go dark Betty if and when she has to, even if she can’t always handle that part of herself…
When I tell you, I relate.
A lot of times people want to keep their messes private.
We worry what others will think of us if they knew our icky parts – the stuff we bury, that we only partially manage to navigate through. We try to spare ourselves the embarrassment of the world’s opinions. We think we need to manage others’ opinions of us, even though we know it’s impossible.
What we’re really doing is avoiding our own shame at being unable to reconcile our individual basic natures with our idealized vision of ourselves.
I think both are mired in external conditioning: we’re taught what’s acceptable and what’s preferred so we internalize the collective composition and come to loathe that which occurs inherently, and we agonize over near-impossible projections.
Regardless of how we try to dress up our identities and personas people are going to see us however they choose.
In all manipulations a bit of truth remains.
I believe that people always show their true selves, even through their facades. The catch-22 is that most people are not perceptive enough to read others correctly, and as previously mentioned we see people how we want to see them.
I like to believe I have very little to hide. But perhaps my secrets are plenty and wide ranging. Still, what I do choose to hide I often allude to. I believe in retaining as much personal power as possible and so, like Betty, I prefer to put my business out there. I prefer to let people know where I stand and where I have placed them.
I believe in owning my actions, choices, and words. I believe in accountability, and that the more I reveal of my shadow the less power the shadow possesses over me. Additionally, I believe this gives others less power to shame me for my “bad” behavior, or my inherent humanity.
Nothing lasts forever anyway, and less than nothing matters.
The human condition and life and everything is pretty simple: constant change. Some days I’m very confident and carefree. Some days, very ambitious and determined.
Other times I’m riddled with doubt and anxiety, listlessness and despair. It’s been a rough week. I’ve had rougher, but still, you know it’s a rough life.
Along my journey to be “a good person” I’ve learned to accept my inherent savagery. I’m still very angry, and I may never stop being angry. I have a lot to be angry about, just as I have plenty to be grateful for and happy about. The goal is balance; I oscillate.
I’ve accepted my predisposition toward revenge, and its inevitable and resultant karma. I will still act out if and when the opportunity presents itself. I will hold a grudge. I will lie to those I distrust. I will deceive whoever I’ve decided is a fake, or an enemy to my path, and I manipulate their idea of me until I can find the perfect moment to ruin it, and reveal us both.
I think the quest for, and the question of, Morality resides within the individual. And it’s silly and useless to seek validation for our righteousness from others.
Do whatever feels right in your heart. Air that dirty laundry. Go dark Betty. Be a savage. So who cares?